Ghoul on Holiday: CHAPTER 4

EXT – CITY STREET SIDEWALK – LATE AFTERNOON

Mirabel and Elias walk down the sidewalk past the graveyard. Mirabel turns her head and looks up the hill. She cannot see the Grave Digger at the top of the hill in the graveyard.

MIRABEL:
He doesn’t seem to be here.

ELIAS:
You’re beginning to have some sick and twisted obsession with this guy. I hope it doesn’t become sexual.

MIRABEL:
Shove it up your ass you bloody douch bag!

ELIAS:
Hahahaha! Don’t get all-melodramatic over it, calm down.

MIRABEL:
(sarcastically) Oh yeah and I am sure you wouldn’t if Jim Morrison’s grave was vandalized and pissed on by a bunch of bohemian punks.

ELIAS:
This coming from the girl who has a huge Tolkien Shrine?

MIRABEL:
How would you even know? For God sake it is all too clear you celebrate Morrison’s birthday.

ELIAS:
That is called respect.

MIRABEL:
Or would it be referred to as some highly obsessive neurosis that you can’t keep your mind off of? Hahahaha!

ELIAS:
I am not the only one on earth who idolizes him you know.

MIRABEL:
Would you fuck Jim Morrison if he was alive today?

ELIAS:
What? Oh God no! I’m not gay.

MIRABEL
You sure about that?

ELIAS:
(Rolls his eyes)

They both pass an individual as they walk down the sidewalk who is fixing drain pipes at the side in an alleyway next to a flower shop.

MIRABEL:
There he is by the side of the shop.

ELIAS:
Never changes.

MIRABEL:
Uhhh…yeah.

(She gives him a sarcastic expression and rolls her eyes)

ELIAS:
He never stops to give himself a break.

MIRABEL:
I cant imagine how much disgusting filtered water could be drained out of that place for Christ sake anyways!

ELIAS:
Yeah, do they even bother with him anymore? He has been trying to fix those pipes since….forever!

MIRABEL:
Watch them bust out in his face! Hahaha! That would be outrageous!

ELIAS:
Those pipes aren’t even linked to the sewer.

MIRABEL:
Half the time he just drinks.

ELIAS:
It seems like something you would do if you got a job!

MIRABEL:
Work Sucks!

ELIAS:
So I’ve heard from you on numerous occasions!

CUT TO FRITTZERS COFFEE SHOP. WIDE EXTERIOR SHOT.

INT – FRITZZERS COFEE SHOP – EARLY EVENING

MEDIUM SHOT. Mirabel and Elias sitting in a booth. They
sip their coffee Elias stirs his coffee slowly. He looks down at it.

ELIAS:
I don’t understand why caffeine is that bad for you.

MIRABEL:
Because obviously it can become a major addiction.

ELIAS:
Not for me though.

MIRABEL:
My mom consistently warns me how it may lead to vile irritability to the brain and how it poses a risk to poor concentration. Its gets so bloody redundant its not even funny.

ELIAS:
I doubt I will grow to have ugly brown teeth.

MIRABEL:
Its not like it will rot our teeth to death.

ELIAS:
People who complain about it are fucking annoying.

MIRABEL:
Especially since they feel so high and confident about it. It is seriously mind numbing.

ELIAS:
Well this is the shit that gets me up in the morning for work.

He lifts his glass and drinks from it.

ELIAS: (CONT’D)
It’s a bit of an obsession.

MIRABEL:
Pfffft…and you honestly think that caffeine won’t eat away at your teeth? The logical alternative is an alarm clock.

ELIAS:
I don’t need one. I have a mental alert in my brain or something.

A newspaper lies on the front counter. Mirabel stretches and gets up and reaches for it. She opens the newspaper and begins to look through it. Tabloids that come across her eye are as follows:

• BARBER BLEEDS RED AND WHITE STRIPPED BLOOD
• MICROSCOPIC SPACE ALIENS INFESTING CARPETS
• JACK THE RIPPER WAS A WOMAN
• TAXES IMPOSED ON OPIUM MIXED WITH SHOTS OF MORPHINE

MIRABEL:
That’s fucked. I mean who seriously reads this shit? Listen to this awful tabloid. The headline is “Taxes imposed on opium mixed with shots of morphine. Heightens drug hallucinations”. That is completely absurd.

ELIAS:
Yeah that doesn’t make sense at all.

MIRABEL:
I know! That’s bonkers! Opium is usually used for medicinal purposes. But it can result in something much worse than expected.

ELIAS:
I’m pretty sure it was legal in the 1920s. Mainly in most Asian countries. You just can’t take it out of the country.

MIRABEL:
Fucking drug addicts I hear use it to stimulate the chemical structure of the neurons in their brain. It heightens our senses of dysphoria and screws with the endorphins our brains produces.

ELIAS:
Yeah what we call “ the feel good chemicals”. Its hard to believe it actually floods our nerve cells.

MIRABEL:
Although it does reduce any stress or anxiety allowing your problems to melt away through the moment. That’s exactly what you should do with a job like yours.

ELIAS:
Mine isn’t very demanding.

MIRABEL:
That won’t stop you from feeling an irresistible state of euphoria.

ELIAS:
Oh come on…I mean where would we?…why?

MIRABEL:
Why not? Haha. Chinatown would be a start. That is my wish. What could be better than leaving all your worries in the world behind? Fuck the after effects. I seriously want to try this stuff.

ELIAS:
An Opium den does seem not any different than a damn retirement home. Elderly people go there and just end up dying.

MIRABEL:
Yeah it must be really depressing yet serene.

ELIAS:
My utmost greatest fear is dying alone all by myself.

MIRABEL:
That’s a scary thought and would suck. Wait let me guess. Will Jim Morrisson be singing your final farewell while you lie on your deathbed?

ELIAS:
Jeez I’m not that fanatically compulsive.

MIRABEL:
Yeah not as much as these assholes who have nothing better in their life but write awful articles. Fuck this place! Let’s bounce!

Mirabel reaches in her purse and Elias takes his wallet out of his pocket and they both put a bit of change on the table. They both walk out the door and it swings behind them as they leave.

EXT – CITY STREET SIDEWALK – EARLY EVENING

Mirabel and Elias walk down the sidewalk and leave Fritzzers Coffee shop behind them.

ELIAS:
Where in the hell are we going?

MIRABEL:
Hey do you know what happens when a black knight meets a white knight on a chessboard?

ELIAS:
What are you talking about?

MIRABEL:
Do you?

ELIAS:
No what?

MIRABEL:
A Knightmare.

ELIAS:
Oh my God! That is so incredibly lame.

They walk down the sidewalk and pass the park. They take a glimpse at an elderly gentleman sitting at a chess table in the park square. He wears a thin overcoat, corduroys and sneakers. He has a thick beard. They quietly linger around the park square.

MIRABEL:
Isn’t it? It’s a joy that its so bad and corny. Oh there he is just like every other day. He’s always sitting there.

ELIAS:
Who?

MIRABEL:
I call him GanGan.

ELIAS:
Oh God! why is that?

MIRABEL:
Because his long big beard reminds me of Gandalf from Lord of the Rings.

ELIAS:
Christ!…obviously.

MIRABEL:
He always sits in the park playing chess against himself.

ELIAS:
That’s God damn weird.

MIRABEL:
The thing is his game never ends. Its like he lives in his own tiny universe in his head.

ELIAS:
Kinda like..you?

MIRABEL:
Shut up!

Short sequence of Gan Gan playing chess against himself in the park square.

EXT – ONE STOP VIDEO SHOP – EARLY EVENING

ESTABLISHING SHOT. Mirabel and Elias walk down the sidewalk and near the One Stop Video Shop. Elias looks up at the sign to the store.

ELIAS:
Oh God no!

MIRABEL:
This is only going to take a minute.

ELIAS:
I hate this pencil dick!

MEDIUM SHOT. They walk inside through the door to the video store. They walk up to the counter.

WILLIAM:
Well look which cats dragged each other through the door. Hello ladies!

MIRABEL:
That is sure to get you a load of juicy fur burgers you fucking perv!

Elias ignores both Mirabel and William and wanders off looking at a rack of video cassesetes.

WILLIAM:
Still haven’t seduced Elias by the magic of your unbelievable fanciful enchanted charms and fairness? You have to admit though he can be a leech. Isn’t it a little annoying? I mean friends don’t last forever.

MIRABEL:
You can be such a dork.

WILLIAM:
Fucking Ghoul!

MIRABEL:
Ghoul? Its girl you fucking moron, a form of existence I doubt you will ever score with!

WILLIAM:
Haven’t you Elias?

Elias ignores him.

WILLIAM: (CONT’D)
You seem to be trailing behind.

MIRABEL:
Ok! Cut to the crap asshole!

WILLIAM:
Did I hit Mirabel’s soft spot?

MIRABEL:
No but I know where yours is that will make you useless to a woman on the face of this planet. Do you have it for me?

WILLIAM:
Yes princess.

He turns away toward a shelf of videos behind him.

WILLIAM: (CONT’D)
If I didn’t see you hanging out with Elias I would be convinced you were a lesbian. I actually have a list of stuff that you might be…

She grabs it from his hands and tears it in half. She lets the pieces of paper fall onto the counter. She takes the video from his hands.

MIRABEL:
See you later dick!

She gives him the middle finger

WILLIAM:
What about?

MIRABEL:
I’ll give you the money some other time.

Mirabel and Elias turn to the door of the video store and walk out. They start walking down the sidewalk.

EXT – CITY STREET SIDEWALK – LATE EVENING

ELIAS:
What did he give you?

MIRABEL:
An old Russian film classic…apparently.

CUT TO

EXT – CITY PARK – NIGHT

( Mirabel and Elias lounge over the chessboard in deserted park square. They are both exhausted)

MIRABEL:
I wonder where Gan Gan went….hmmm…He’s gone.

ELIAS:
I’m not sure. I guess his game ended.

MIRABEL:
I didn’t expect it would have. Checkmate…

ELIAS:
I’m spent. Let’s go home.

FADE OUT

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